Pandemic Poems (i)

An HHS member living in N8 has been busy writing her response to Covid 19 in verse form. Here is the first of her poems, a serious and respectful parody of ‘Your Attention Please’ by Peter Porter.  Do read the original poem which can be found in many books or websites.


(after Peter Porter)

A doctor from China has just warned that an
Virulent virus strike of
Potentially pandemic proportions
Has been launched by Mother Nature
Directly at all the countries of our world.
This announcement will take months to sink in,
You therefore have a matter of weeks
To comply with the advice of medics and
epidemiologists and the WHO and other
People who know about these things
To comply with Regulations – Sections
Medical devices; Medicines; and PPE.
A specially shortened
Message from your Head of State
Will be broadcast at the end
Of this announcement
Do not jog or take well-loved pets
In to the park – they will put you at risk.
Leave the old and officially vulnerable to
Self-isolate – you can’t do a lot for them.
Remember to wear your mask and gloves if
You must go out, even if you know you’re invincible.
Turn on and leave on your television to 107 now,
Turn on and leave on your radios in all rooms,
You cannot have too much news.
Join as many social media groups
As you can tolerate. Do exercising with
Zoom groups and, if you must work at home, video-conference.
Home-educate your children as far as you (and they) can bear it.
They will hear the word
In every political and media utterance and will
Need to learn to spell it.
If you are of that age, use the
Over70s Hour (at most, but not all
Reputable supermarkets) to avoid fights
Over toilets rolls. Newspaper is just as good.
(And if you have a bidet, share it with
Others less fortunate – 2m apart.)
Take all the pasta and wine you need, your
Need is greater than your neighbours. Probably.
Remember, national shortages of anything are
Not your Government’s fault. The
Need for medical equipment, ventilators,
Personal Protective Equipment, tests etc is
Earlier warnings about pandemics are none of your business.
The WHO (not the one with Roger Daltry and Pete Townsend)
Has already given orders for
Massive retaliation against our enemy Nature – it will be
Decisive. Some of us may die.
Remember, statistically
It is not likely to be you.
No flags are flying on Government buildings but the sun is shining.
Covid-19 is the least we have to fear.
We are all in the hands of the World Economy,
Whatever happens, happens by its will.
Now stay safe quietly in your sitting rooms.